Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
