So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
