Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
