I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
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I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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