I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
