we're blogging at a bar
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
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Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
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I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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