Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
