3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
