just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
