My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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