know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
