you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
