A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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