It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
