I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
