That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
