How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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