I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
