I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
do herpes really smell.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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