"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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