I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
