sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
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I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
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Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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