How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
