He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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