I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
