I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
