rhymes with "ouble enetration"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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