I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
