OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
