shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I FOUND THE LEGS
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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