The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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