he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize