Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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