Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
