he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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