we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I love having hate sex.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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