My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
What drink are we having for lunch?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
