One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
