so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
