I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
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