he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
