im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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