lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
