My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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