Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
