Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize