Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
