then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just took my morning after pill in the library
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
