You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Randomize
