Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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