i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
