And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
