Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
