The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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