I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
