she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
