well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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