maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
whose parrot is this?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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