I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
