Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
