Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
