Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
