Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
