I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i came on her dog
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
What a dumb baby whore.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
