just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
