He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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